I often wrestle with myself to select the most appropriate words to express a feeling. Once delivered, it is challenging to erase and replace. Even though I am uncertain of my choices, it becomes the branded truth for others. For this reason, in countless circumstances, I prefer to remain silent - my safety zone. Or is it my prison? I am opting for the latter.
Recently I asked a friend to join me kayaking on the Ping River in Chiang Mai, Thailand. The day to meet is approaching, and I realize I am not at ease with the upcoming adventure. I love water sports and am confused. If I were going alone, would I have conflicting feelings? I doubt it.
I want to share my emotions with her but have angst broaching the subject. I know she is not judgemental, so I go for it! Fumbling with my words, I ramble through disjointed thoughts. I can't even be candid with myself. Together, we attempt to peel off the layers of my invisible walls: breaking through my self-made cage.
Am I feeling apprehensive? Perhaps. I am still not sure which words to use. All I know is I am not afraid. And it will take only one time to understand the logistics of the excursion. But, most importantly, where will I store my cane?
We face some obstacles, but nothing will prevent me from returning for more trips up and down the Ping.
Comments on this post (2)
Great piece Debra. Sharing an experience is always more fun than alone. Why the apprehension? B
Wow! You’re brave! I would be afraid to do this.