Unsent Letters
Written with an Open Heart
Sealed with Love
I scramble to capture the appropriate words to convey my thoughts. I do not want to mislead myself or others as I write. The subject is susceptible to misunderstanding and confusion. An unrelenting inner cry begs me to remain silent - demanding to know why I dare reveal concerns better undisclosed.
The most straightforward answer is I know too well life is precarious. For personal reasons, I attempt to connect through letters using a pure unedited voice.
My present communication often leaves me empty. Feeling unheard and misunderstood, I recoil into a world of silence. I cringe with exasperation each time somebody finishes my sentence proclaiming to know me. How is this possible? Please do not assume who I am from past actions and statements: change and growth are essential.
My conversations can be one-sided and verge on being superficial. I cling to the listener's role and, with trepidation, share pathetically little about my life. The overwhelming fear of being judged seeps in as an uninvited guest eavesdropping intently, waiting to pounce, and is unforgiving if I misspeak.
My father encouraged me to choose words wisely- a gift I crave to possess - but I frequently stumble.
If we listen carefully, the unspoken tells a story.
I struggle with the challenge of sharing my true self. Will letter writing tame my angst and provide the freedom to speak. The dread of being misinterpreted due to one moment in time may be too powerful to overcome.
Life is fragile, and I prefer not to hide voiceless behind a wall of excuses. I want to share my thoughts and feelings generously with you.
I do not wish to be elusive. I write letters with an open heart: signing and sealing each with love. Will I have the courage to send? Will I hear from you?
-
Debra Levine
Comments on this post (6)
Oh how I have missed your wisdom and candor. Your father was correct in choosing your words wisely. Once said they can never be taken back. Your writing puts it all out there in the open; nothing to apologize for or be embarrassed by. Not just anyone can say that. You are amazing!
— Keith A Jones
Debra,
I feel honored to be one of your readers to hear your words, truly hear those words that have been so hidden in your mind and heart that are beginning to awaken to allow you to unfold as a beautiful butterfly desiring to be birthed. …bringing so many gifts forward—-your “keen” eye for capturing the objects around you through the lens of a camera, your writing skill and how you express yourself so exquisitely and you dropping back into your childhood gift of painting—and bringing that forward again…..so so so many gifts…you are a true artist…
love you,
carolyn~
— Carolyn
Love your insight, vulnerability, courage, and honesty 💜
— Barbara Steinke
I hear you. Thank you for allowing me to feel your heart. Love you always. ❤️
— marilyn
Fabulous! I am here for you. I promise not to judge. Writing a letter to you soon. Please send me your address.
— Imogen
Debra, I would never judge your writing or you. I am always here anytime you need to vent. I envy your talent for writing and expressing your thoughts and experiences. Let me hear from you. Sent with much love from the hills of West Virginia. Love, Betty
— Betty