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A Balanced Life?

A Balanced Life?

A Precarious Stack
On the Verge of Toppling

Surrounded by numerous organic disc-shaped white porcelain chips, I carefully place one on top of the other using my left hand. Not only am I right-handed, but my entire left side is affected by my stroke in 2008. I am approaching thirteen years of living with a body that not only feels awkward but is also not functioning with the agility and strength I once proudly possessed. In times past, I would be working on an art installation - not therapy. 

I mindfully select each piece. And am aware of all movement. I hold my breath and enter a hypnotic state.

Flashback to times I missed out on in life. 

Yes, I had a life filled with opportunities. Then why did I miss out? Because my focus was on work. A balanced life would have been more fulfilling. Instead, I was a workaholic. I say this with regret, not pride.

Now I live with the consequences. And there are many. I do my best to look forward rather than wallow in my regrets. Change is not easy. My inner battle to achieve a balanced life is often a bitter war. And I usually lose. Even so, I continue to focus on being in a world filled with harmony and joy.

Scheduling my days requires being calm and knowing how to manage my time. My priority? Therapy. 

Now that I am painting and writing, I struggle to balance the two. The natural light dictates when I paint, so there are times I must be flexible - not a problem. I adjust with ease. 

I am on an unknown creative journey and freedom rules. 

The precarious stack of chips is also a symbol of my existence. Each chip represents a fragment of who I am. One wrong move and all may topple over. It does happen.

Several times I have been pushed down and off course. Getting up and redirecting my vision can be unsettling.

Empowered - I move on.

  • Post author
    Debra Levine

Comments on this post (4)

  • May 28, 2021

    I am so glad Laura was able to get this set up. I feel as if I was going through withdrawals from your hindsight, foresight, the unique way you express your experiences and the knowledge to view things as a challenge and not a handicap1 Inspirational!!

    — Keith A Jones

  • Apr 27, 2021

    A masterpiece. Beautifully written.
    Your heart is open, your thoughts precise and yes you are one bold, brave, and courageous women. I applaud you handsomely for truly sharing YOU. Love you lots, my dear sister Debra. 💚

    — Marilyn

  • Apr 26, 2021

    Once again I listen (well read) every word you say…step by step…you are so descriptive that I easily follow. You reveal a lot in the undercurrents of each step I take with you. I am beginning to know my sister—DEBRA….I love the connection…thank you for sharing.
    love you. Carolyn

    — Carolyn

  • Apr 26, 2021

    I so admire how you can focus on your creativity, trying not to allow any limitations hold you back. I know it’s not easy. Kudos.

    — Muffy

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